Full Moon in Capricorn and Here Comes the Leo Sun!

Pregnant Luna reaches fullness on July 19th at 3:57 pm PDT in the steady and hardworking sign of Capricorn. 

Her ripeness in Capricorn symbolizes the collective need to “get to work.”  What needs to be done?  This can mean finishing up lingering projects and crossing off the to-do list.  It can mean tuning in to your pragmatic side, the part of you that is willing to take things step-by-step as well as give things the final push.  It can also mean setting aside time to go within and look at the “bigger picture” of your existence.

If you believe in soul-contracts (agreements our souls make before taking birth), you might feel a sense of purpose bubbling up for you with this Full Moon.  You might even feel like your higher self is demanding that you show up and pay attention.  Old patterns and ways of being that don’t work are simply unsustainable now.  Capricorn is represented by the Goat, and she is concerned with functionality and practicality.  She is cardinal earth, which means she takes initiative to create grounded and tangible change.  She is here to weed out the behaviors and thought patterns that are stumbling blocks or traps.  She is high-functioning and helps us keep a steady pace on the path of life.  She is ruled by Saturn, the disciplinarian, which gives her major willpower and the ability to focus.

Luna’s exact fullness marks a void period until she enters Aquarius at 8:10 pm PDT.  The void Moon is a time to reflect, go within and listen.  Find the pause in the wheel of life; find perspective.

This Full Moon is also the celebration of Guru Purnima, a sacred festival originating from India and Nepal in which the teacher or guru is honored.  The Sanskrit word “guru” can be defined simply as “the darkness destroyer” (gu = darkness, ru = destroyer).  It is a great gift to experience a teacher who lights our path and brings us into greater awareness, understanding, respect and love.

It is beautiful to take some time with this Moon to offer thanks for those teachers and gurus who have guided us and supported us, who have challenged us and accepted us and loved us.  The true teacher is here to reflect the light within the student.  It is a blessing both ways.

During the Full Moon, the Sun lies directly opposite Luna.  The Sun is finishing up his stay in the waters of Cancer, and he is preparing to enter the domain of Leo this Friday (July 22nd) at 2:30 am PDT. 

The Sun illuminates the house in your chart that is ruled by the sign in which he is traveling.  We all have the entire zodiac within us, in different ways.  Each sign represents an “aspect” of being.  Leo is all about self-expression.  He is noble, courageous and charming.  He can come across as ego-centric or even selfish when his energy is out of balance.  In truth, Leo understands that self-love and self-expression are key components of spreading joy in the world.

The Sun will be joining Venus and Mercury in Leo, who entered the Lion’s Den last week, setting the stage for the pinnacle of Summer.  Leo values art, romance, creativity, family, love and performance.  Leo can be indulgent, like the ripe Summer harvest.  So: the self (Sun), the mind (Mercury) and feminine love energy (Venus) are all in the Lion’s Den together again – and the sign of fixed fire is igniting everyone’s sense of self.  The ego can also get ignited under this fire sign, and when too many aggrandized egos start crowding a room – well, we all know it ain’t pretty.

Hop off the ego train and use the fire of Leo to light up your purpose and your path. 

Your wellness, your brightness, your talent and your heart are much needed in the world.  This planet is in so much pain, so much confusion, and the wheel of karma is plowing forward at tremendous speed.  Can we respond with quiet kindness?  Can we offer the alchemy that is necessary to turn apathy into caring, hate into forgiveness and fear into love?

What we have considered “self” is the biggest lie that we have been feeding ourselves for centuries upon centuries.

Small self is a shadow of the truth of What Is. 

When small self thinks it is in charge, it feeds the creation of a false paradigm in which many small selves are competing for attention and power.  This has manifested as a world full of conflict, poverty, violence, abuse, pain and disease.

However, the Universe is self-correcting.  She may just self-correct humans out of existence if we can’t get our act together.

On another note, as La Luna wanes from her fullness into Crone and back into the darkness of new beginnings, Mars will be retracing his steps in Scorpio back into Sagittarius.  He has regained his usual speed after stationing direct, so any mire we may have been feeling from June 19th – July 12th should be clearing up or at least MOVING in a new direction by now.  This can also speak to desires coming to fruition, romance taking off (or falling apart), and inner conflict sorting itself out.

Mars energy is HOT, and he is currently heating up the final degrees of Scorpio (again).  Scorpio encourages shadow work and deep exploration of emotions and our sensual/sexual nature.  Scorpio is anything but superficial and she doesn’t care about societal norms, which is why she is so often shrouded in mystery.

For those of you who are geeky like me, you might find it useful to know that from now until our next New Moon, Mars will be retracing the same territory he was in from:

May 27th – June 12th

February 22nd – March 7th

Mars energy is powerful, and this past Mars retrograde certainly threw me for a loop, so I wanted to share these dates for the sake of reflection.

Mars will re-enter Sagittarius on August 2nd on the day of the New Moon.

This is potent energy available to us, dear ones!

I wish you magickal transformation and radical self-love.

xo

Misfit Mystic

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Full Moon photo by the talented Michael Ludwig.  Find his writings and more photos at 5edges.wordpress.com

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Cultivating Light, pt.2

I’m back on the island for the weekend.  Right now, my only company is my friend’s African-Grey parrot, who I will call Sam.  Sam and I have a very sweet relationship.  Except for that one time last Sunday when she bit me.  That has never happened before and it will never happen again.  I was not pleased about having a bloody, throbbing finger (although it was my fault for trying to pet her cute little head).  I went to bed resentful of her rude behavior and I didn’t chat with her much the following morning.  She is very sensitive to vibes and she quickly caught on that I was ignoring her.  I wasn’t trying to punish her; I just wasn’t ready to talk yet.  My feelings were hurt.

Throughout the day, she kept upping her game with me, saying things like “good morning!” and “how are you?” quite often.  She even started saying “later gater” a lot in this cute robotic voice because she heard me laugh after she tried it out.  My friend has owned Sam for almost 30 years, since she was a 6-month old babe.  He knows her really, really well and is very in tune with her moods and what she is communicating.  He said it was good that I was giving her the silent-treatment to reinstate my dominance.  So I just waited until I was over being mad, and then I was able to re-engage with Sam without a grudge.  She won me back when she said “Night-night, sweetheart” in a loving, lilting voice.  I laughed fully and my heart felt soft and glowing. I asked her that we instate a mutual “no biting each other” agreement, and we moved on.

I wish it was so easy with people!  Specifically, I wish it was so easy with lovers.

I wish I could be more Zen about the whole Sex thing.

I wish my heart wasn’t in my vagina.  I wish I could love “casually” without getting too “attached.”

I wish feeling triggered or hurt wasn’t part of my experience.  (No bad feelings, please!  They are so inconvenient!)

And I don’t wish these things because I think it would make me a better person or a cooler person, or even a more desirable woman.  I wish these things because it would be less painful for ME!

However, to my utter amazement, I am finding that I can’t turn away from love anymore.  I can’t turn the lights off and go back to sleep.  I can’t pretend something doesn’t hurt when it does.  I can’t close my heart and cut connections just because I’m scared.  The heart stays open.

By some divine power, my heart is being kept open.  Waves of emotion pass through it.  I’m feeling the truth of painful feelings – what is it about?  I am seeing that some things are about relating, here and now, in present time.  How personalities mesh.  How chemistry is strengthened or weakened.

And I am seeing the trail of thoughts and feelings that are triggered by sharing myself closely with a lover, regardless of the present experience.  The trail keeps leading me back to the same yucky, muddy pond.  The same sadness, the same hurt.

I realized today that I am almost the same age that my mother was when my father left her for another woman.  There had already been infidelities, I’m sure, but the affair that made him leave was the beginning of a hellish time for my mother and my little sister and I.

The story of that challenging time is not what is important.  What matters is the little girl (age 11) who was left to sift through rubble and pick up broken pieces with her mother, for years.  What matters is that she hasn’t healed completely yet, and she is still, will always be, me.  Her healing is intrinsic to my own, as a woman and as a soul.

Little girls are not women.  I am not the only woman walking around with a scared, hurt, confused little girl inside of her.  And there are men, many men, with scared, hurt, confused little boys inside of them.  We are not bad for not being all grown-up and put together.  We do not suck for struggling.

Really, we are being handed keys to our own healing.  Whenever we are triggered, we are given an opportunity to trace it back to a place where we can have compassion for ourselves.  So often, our hurts are left over from our childhood.  We can hold space for that healing to occur in our hearts and minds, just by imagining ourselves as children, innocent and deserving of kindness and love.  (if you can’t imagine that, it’s ok! imagine yourself as a newborn baby.  you were innocent.  you still are, believe it or not.)

Now, we layer the cake of our experiences with the generations who have gone before us, and we see how very deep the suffering goes, how very deep the need for healing goes.

We are all feeling the sadness of world events right now.  There is a collective heaviness, a worn and tired dismay, and a protective urge to shield, to numb and to hide.  There is also a reactive urge for some to lash out and seek revenge.

But we just can’t keep doing that.

I can’t hide from my “daddy-issues” anymore.  It’s not very fun for my dating life.  I can’t just pretend something is working for me.  My temple, my body, is completely divine and anyone who enters my temple is blessed and also carries responsibility.  I deserve care and love and kindness.  I deserve truth and commitment and connection.  When I pretend like I don’t need those things, I feel like shit!

We, collectively, cannot hide from our issues.  We cannot hide from systemic racism and sexism.  We cannot hide from economic oppression.  We cannot hide from gun violence and fear-mongering and hate crimes.

These things are waking us up like an awful nightmare.  Instead of spinning around in debates and defenses, we can just feel this.  Eventually, we are going to feel this.

And then we can stop denying it and pretending.  We can stop blaming and victimizing.  We can stop stuffing our shame and our guilt with bullshit distractions.  We can just stop.

I have to heal my heart wounds in order to love freely and joyously.  Sometimes I feel underwater with the grief I’ve been carrying, but I keep riding the waves and perspective is granted, in big and small ways.  Spirit gives me the experiences I need to grow, and I feel held, even in my despair.

We have to heal our heart wounds.  We have to listen, really listen.

If we are able to act as loving support for others, we are experiencing a great gift.  AND – we still need to work on our own healing.  Martyrs are not going to save the world.  My loving brother Jesus has been misinterpreted again and again – and one very real way is through this idea of “suffering our way to heaven.”  Give me a break!

We are here to LOVE OURSELVES, FORGIVE OURSELVES AND HEAL OURSELVES.  From this space and this intention, we can offer our love, forgiveness and healing to this beautiful world.  The personal is still political, people.  Micro/Macro.  And if we don’t receive the grace that is constantly available to us if we but look within, we can’t offer it up, we can’t share it, we can’t BE IT.

You are the light, so be it.

There is no “other.”  Every great spiritual master has shared this message.

Your freedom is mine.  Your happiness, your love, your wisdom and your power are essential to the well-being of this planet.

And when you look around, those fellow humans you see, they are your family.

I love you.

Namaste.

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Take Refuge

 

Today, I am thinking about what “refuge” is – beyond the physical experience of being sheltered from danger.

I am thinking about spiritual refuge.  Soul refuge.

Buddhists take refuge in the Buddha.

Christians take refuge in Christ.

I take refuge in my Gurus.

Upon contemplation of Him or Her, I dissolve

and I am held.

I feel both sheltered and annihilated, and somehow

this feels like the sweetest kind of safety

when my “self” isn’t running the show anymore.

In this space of “non-self” I feel the bubbling nature of my refuge.

It is Alive!

And curious….

And everywhere…..

It exists in the broken places,

where the gears have been grinding,

where conflict appears.

It exists in the limitations,

the brick walls and closed doors –

telling us to find another way!

It exists in the desire and the pining and the want –

the pleasure and the pain of being contained in a body,

experiencing ourselves as seemingly separate from all the other creatures.

It exists in heartbreak and misfortune – these things tearing us down to a simplified awareness of what we are made of.

And we, when we are not in a position of seeking physical refuge

from abuse

terrorism

natural disaster

politico-economic upheaval

we may find a thousand ways to perpetuate our own suffering, running away from

refuge

But by miracles I do not understand,

slices of grace are being offered constantly,

when we open the door to the One who is knocking.

It doesn’t have to be God

or Jesus

or Buddha

or a Guru

It can be the spacious kindness within your own sweet self.

Take refuge there.

Love from that place.

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