Drop

Drop the story.

Drop knowing.

Drop any boredom you might harbor,

like life isn’t quite good enough for you.

Reach into the construct of your identity, and sift through the nuts and bolts.

Give a loving glance to all this stuff

as your hand grazes the inner-you, the one you can’t separate yourself from

even try as you might.

Would you hold these things, these constructs

and drop them in the Ocean like taking a bath?

You will still be you, but you might feel and act in a different way.

You might see things in a way you didn’t know was possible.

The “seeing” will happen all throughout the body, not just the eyes!

Maybe you’ll weep, like I do

when the whole Universe is revealed through a single photograph

a poem

a kiss.

Forgiving ourselves for forgetting

(constantly, daily)

the sublime honor

of having a heart.

 

*

 

Holy

There will be some days when you feel more holy than others,

And that is good.

As you bask in the sweetness of your connection to the One who sustains you,

Remember, dear one, you are just like the other.

Reach, reach, reach

For the end of yourself.

Anytime you think you “know” –

Press further.

Press past any idea of being right.

Press into the Mystery.

Trust your gut –

When instinct says:

Get out!

Leave!

I don’t deserve this!

This is not what I want!

Listen.

Protect your precious, precious self.

*

But when Grace hits you like a ton of bricks,

And you can’t stop thinking about

Him

Or Her

Or It —

Please, reach only for that place

Where you dissolve.

Claim nothing.

Take nothing.

Judge nothing.

The Mind is the Ocean,

Cool and vast.

The Heart is on fire,

Erupting with love and yearning for the Thing that binds us.

Fan those flames only, my friend.

Fan those flames only.

*

*

*

The Matriarchy

 

There is ecstasy in forgetting yourself.

There is bliss in remembering yourself.

All streams are leading back to the Ocean,

darling pilgrim of the heart.

The Ages are shaping you

into a prism of light that carries every experience

and offers every freedom.

Run towards it!

Chase this light as you live, work, love, eat, sleep and dream.

You are the beautiful vessel

for this dance.

*

Come to me

with the light in your eyes,

Come.

Speak to me

in a voice hushed with reverence

for this,

this waking up.

*

Talk to me of everything you know

and everything you’ve forgotten.

I want to hear your stories of redemption, grief, loss and triumph.

I want to know how you became the Phoenix

and how you learned to forgive.

I want to hold the key to your joy

and treat it like it is my own.

*

Please hunt your own heart,

the way you used to hunt the sacred Buffalo.

And I will birth the teachings of our ancestors,

the way I’ve given birth for generations.

And slowly,

the tides of inequality

are turning.

Your voice quiets with understanding,

with feeling and with honor.

You are learning to love yourself again.

My voice becomes clear and resonant.  I embody respect.

There is no senseless seeking now.

The veil has been lifted and the illusions are falling away

to reveal our innocence

and our delight.

We are alive

by some miraculous power.

*

The sublime Teacher

carries our boat along,

like the river

rushing back to the Ocean.

This Ocean

is where the Matriarchy is headed.

*

 

Shadow Men

The men of shadows like me

Because I know how to dance in their dark streets with my light

and I am unafraid of their secrets

Out of curiosity, compulsion and naivety

I have wandered into their inner chambers

Craving the pull, but all the while a sinking feeling

and trying to ignore it

Craving the story

‘cause I saw it in a movie

And every form of media

and residual karma

*

But it doesn’t take long

for the windows to disappear

and for the reek of loneliness to fill the stale air

Your internal temperature gets colder,

the closer you get to a man like this

And when you arrive as far as he will let you in

you might feel lost while looking at your reflection

*

What were you seeking when you traveled so far away

from safety and from love?

An experience that leaves your soul feeling weathered and torn

rather than comforted and cared for?

You knew –

it would end this way

leave you feeling this way

You knew,

but something drew you in

and you wanted the poison instead of the Prasad

*

Like a Siren’s call, you were called

to these shadow men

The Everything in you trying to understand itself

Feeling yourself the lowest of the low,

you ate garbage and developed

sunken eyes

Yet still, somehow you managed

to preserve your ember

while entering the mouth of the Wolf

That place where you have to die to survive

and break your promises or at least

omit the truth

Lest everything you love get stolen

broken or desecrated

That place will forever remind you

that things can always get worse

And you must find your way out of this mess

*

Your breath becomes shallow

A listlessness begins choking you

You are defeated by the lies you kept telling yourself,

now disappointing and shabby in the light of day

While the good people of the world

have coffee and dreams and commitments they love to keep

You have this –

shadow to reckon with

And you feel tired

like you spent all night digging yourself

another grave

*

*

Time, great healer

Wash me in your Ocean

Ring me out like the robes you will have me wear

when I meet you at last, for tea

*

*

She walks alone and alone

She walks alone and not alone

She stops pretending to know everything and she becomes

a beginner, what an honor

She left the dark streets

and dark avenues

full of tempting, lurking shadow men

The ones who made her look angelic,

if only for a little while

She found this path, instead

High into the mountains

Take off your shoes

*

The Gurus appear in her dreams

when she walks this way

up the many steps

in the misty grey morning

Up the many steps,

she is visually hydrated

by the bright green moss and wild foliage,

all covered with dew

The moist, cool air

filling her nostrils with the fragrance of clean, dark earth

Tiny white flowers

singing praises with her crumbling identity

and ecstatic heart

*

Oh Deathless One,

these shadow men

They just can’t light my fire

like You

*

 

Seaglass

Imagine that your heart is a glass bottle

Ginger ale, beer, kombucha, whatever you like

The point is – your heart is made of glass

and it can

and it will

break

*

You are taken on a fun adventure

to the beach, of course!

Inevitably

…..at some point….

you are shattered

Maybe out of plain old good fun

An act of rough-housing

and carelessness

A simple mishap

Or an act of violence and disregard

Apathy stemming from

Forgetting

that it all matters

Even you, glass bottle that you are

*

You are shattered

Broken into many pieces

Some big, some small

No one is going to fix you

It’s possible that the larger chunks of your brokenness will get salvaged

Thrown away or recycled

You are all sharp edges now

And bits and pieces of you will be left behind

in a dangerous state

Innocent passerby may step on you

and you cut them, you can’t help it

You didn’t ask for this to happen

You were once whole and beautiful,

enjoyed and maybe even admired

Now you are cast aside as waste.

And your knife edges know only how to wound.

*

*

The Ocean is waiting for you

She wants to retrieve you

Consume you

Reshape you

She is the master transformer

She begs for nothing

She needs nothing

She does what She knows

Ebbs and flows

Inhales

Exhales

A gravitational pull that is at once –

Cleansing and deadly

Exciting and majestic

A release of froth and bubbles

that has made creatures of every age and creed

laugh with delight

for time beyond memory

And Her waves give surfers of all species

A killer ride

This Ocean, She reclaims you and your brokenness

your rejection and knife edges

This Ocean, She wants you

She is taking you home

*

Time passes, a long time

One day you find yourself on the shore again

You bask in the sun next to seashells

You are beginning to feel beautiful again

At some point, a man stoops down and picks you up

Your color and smoothness has caught his eye

His heart is aching

And as he looks at you, he is reminded

that the place in his chest

that in waves aches with sadness

which in turn become waves of anger, fury, rage

dropping into desolation

and fear of being alone

returning to the familiar ache

This place, too, will soften

like this seaglass that has washed ashore

A gentle reminder that life is rocking him

shaping him

chiseling away the sharpness

slowly but surely

Reinventing his heart

into something both strong and gentle

wise and at peace

Your journey speaks volumes to him

He inhales deeply, the fullness of this moment

On exhalation, he throws you as far as he can

back into the Ocean

Ma….

Who is at once impartial and all-loving

She reclaims you again

to soften you even more

You will wash ashore again someday

You will be marveled at

But pride has left you

for you are one with that which has changed you

And all you want

And all you need

Is more of that kind of love

*

*

A day will come

years later

A young girl, age 4

stops in her tracks at the sight of you

This is different, she thinks

She has been scanning the shore as she walks with her mother

The water lapping its exhalation at their feet

It is a calm day, warm and soft breeze

She sees first your color

catching her eyes like a jewel

Light and golden

bleached by years of minerals and sun

She picks you up and notices your shape

like an oblong heart

and so soft, so smooth!

“This is seaglass,” the mother says

She explains  your journey, why you are so special

The little girl holds you with utmost reverence as her very soul is taking it all in

How could something that began so sharp and jagged

so broken – so dangerous

become this dazzling work of art she now holds?

Time

The Ocean

The sand tumbling the blade away

*

Days, months, years go by

Life will become difficult

So much so

that the heart of this girl-now-woman

will break

into millions of tiny pieces

A pile of smoking rubble

A wasteland

So barren

she will begin to believe

there is nothing to salvage

The forgetting will cover her

and lead her down a darkened path

She will cling to woundedness

and wear sadness like a cloak

A cloak so familiar,

that Light appears like a stranger

and makes her want to hide

*

Time passes

*

*

She is called again to the water

She sits with an ease now, centered and uncoiled

She looks at the Ocean

She realizes

she wants for nothing right now

She sees in her mind’s eye

an image of the seaglass she found so many years ago

She realizes

her heart has softened, too

The jagged edges are smoother now

She feels a kindness inside

toward herself

and extending outward to her surroundings

All the life it contains

This life!

She looks at the Ocean

She sees the grace that has been flowing to her

with constant care

through every trial, failure, disappointment, regrettable act

Grace was there

turning her over in waves

softening her

into what she is now

My religion is LEFT

The younger son has been asking me
“What is your religion?”
I tell him I don’t have one
or my religion is Love
I think he’s trying to understand
How someone can love God without religion
It got me thinking, though
If I were to have a religion
Maybe I would name it LEFT
as in
Love
Eternal
Forgiveness
Truth
as in
What is left of you when everything else falls away
and you are left only with the shining core of your Being
The stars and planets circle to the left, in a counterclockwise rotation
How do they know?
Oh yes
They keep the secrets of Time
~~~
~~~
The shock when you realize
that it has always been there
Even as it is right now
This Love
This nameless changeless formless guide
The One who waits
The Love that will wait forever for you
residing so near
as long as it takes
Never forcing, never bending your will
It waits
It meets you wherever you are
It finds great pleasure in the deconstruction of your castles of illusion
It waits and it watches you
As you dismantle the castle, the place you ran to hide
Brick by brick
tearing it down
Out of the ashes, a new fortress is rising up
as the old one crumbles away
as you find yourself returning
~~~
~~~
The shock will make you bow
~~~
~~~
And if we are Eternal
What then?
What is the journey that spans lifetimes?
What is the story that wants to be told?
Some kind of redemption beckons at the heart of every seeker
Some forgiveness spilling out
As waterfalls, as rivers
Rushing and flowing back to the Ocean
Rushing with the cry
“Oh dear one, how could I have forgotten the truth about your being?”
And
“How sweet it is to remember you!”
Flowing with the songs
of surrender
Whispering your Name on quiet days
Awake in silent ecstasy upon leaving the self behind
~~~
~~~
It’s a truth
that belongs to everyone
that cannot be stolen
that is never destroyed
It’s all that remains
It’s all that’s left
when everything else falls away
~~~
~~~
Sat Nam