The monster is here. In all our hearts. Unavoidable. An energetic expression. As innocent as everything else, in the ultimate sense.
We’ve all seen its face. The reflection that we want to destroy or deny. Those parts of ourselves and others that we hold out on a limb proclaiming: “This aspect of creation is not part of our Tree of Life!”
We’ve all witnessed it as our own undoing, something we never wanted to become. Our formulas for creating a personal hell are endless, each and every one a path of wandering away from conscious union with Source.
Each and every one a potential story of redemption and love that is so great, one might never wander away again.
We walk these paths of shadows and light, sometimes illumined by others, and sometimes bringing illumination from our very core, as the deathless Phoenix rises from ashes in any being who will open up to this resurrection.
The monster can only be tamed by that very one deep inside. No one else can ever do it for you (though calling on Angels, Gurus, Guides and messengers will undoubtedly offer a quickening). Your monster is your own. Your very own gatekeeper, you could say, on your amazing journey home.
I recently went through a period of intense trial.
During this time, I began to truly feel and internally “see” the shape of my soul. Just a slender oval of light filling the trunk of my body, from the 1st chakra at the base to just above the 4th chakra at the heart center. It was with some excitement that it dawned on me – the heart is the brain of the soul!
A loose translation of the Tibetan mantra “Om Mane Padme Hum” is this:
May the jewel of the mind reside in the lotus of the heart
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes.
This does not discredit the mind, or our tendency to think that the brain is the home of the soul. Not at all.
It is as if the body of the soul (existing within the trunk), is like the chariot which Arjuna rides upon with Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita. And then we have the reins, running through the 5th chakra at the throat center, our place of speech, truth and expression.
And then, we have the horses.
The horses are the senses, and our perception of the senses. The horses are the mind. The horses will take this chariot anywhere it wants to go, but the one driving the chariot must be intelligent and have a good grip on the reins in order to get those horses to act intelligently themselves!
The heart-mind must wake up. The heart-mind IS intelligent, inherently, but so often we keep it asleep or dismiss its cries.
But it is talking. It knows what it really wants to DO in life. It knows how it wants to be treated. It knows – just like the trees and the grass and the animals – that its existence is whole, complete and valid. And it feels things that can be inconvenient for the mind to reckon with.
The heart-mind is a place of acceptance. Even when it hurts. Even when the monster inside is thrashing about. Even when the mind wants to die. Even when the shattered glass of what you wanted and what you didn’t get is falling like heavy rain. Even when you find yourself at the bottom of it all, floating around the muddy confusion of needing to grow.
The soul rejoices at these times. For it sees you coming home. Just like the prodigal son returning to his father, we return to our souls like that and there is joy in heaven and on earth.
Here, in this place, with the monster. With any and all unresolved trauma. With the tired sadness of lost hope. With a growing flicker of willingness, to dive below this seeming bottom, straight into the mud, remembering the one who gives birth, and digging roots deep into her.
Here she will incubate us. Show us how far to go, how much depth is needed to sustain this beautiful lotus – the lotus of the heart-mind.
NO MUD, NO LOTUS
Sat Nam. Much love. May your soul take the journey it has always wanted to make.