The Path

 

Will you walk with me down the path

Into the heart of the matter?

The seeming odds are inconsequential

As matter ceases to be

For what is left

After “you” are gone?

Who is the life breathing in you now?

Is it the same life as the one before you?

The one you love

The one you hate

The one you feel indifferent to?

These questions matter most

When I am forgetting

Who is who

And what a treasure exists

When we recognize each other

*

The true test comes

When only you are remembering

Can you remember

When he or she or they forget?

When they are yelling at you

Or irritating you

Or making you feel all kinds of uncomfortable

When you feel triggered

Slowly, slowly

A breath comes

Small victories

are gems.

 

*

 

 

Sand

 

Set the timer

Get the money changers out of the temple of your heart

For 5 minutes

Don’t try to capitalize on anything

*

Don’t set the timer

Do what you do

Let the love that you are

Seep into the streets

The forest

The body of another

*

*

Your wings are unchained

The veil has been lifted

And there is nothing left to hide from

Dissolve like sand

When the One who knows you touches you

Here

The end of yourself

Is just the beginning

 

*

 

 

 

Today is the Day

I was going to tell you of my struggles,

But today is not the day for that.

Today is the day to love everyone

Forgive everyone

Embrace everyone

And empty the contents of your heart onto the drawing board of life.

*

Look at the stars

The secret is out there

They are the writing on the wall,

Mirroring everything about us.

The stars shine bright in the dark, dark sky

The darker, the better

Then the more alive, the more lustrous the stars become

Do you ever look at this sky and despise the darkness, but love the light?

Probably not.

It would be so strange to say:

“Only the light is beautiful!”

Without that black night sky

And that empty space

How could we realize

This heavenly creation?

*

Today is the day to love and forgive, as many times as you can.

Let that be your only race.

And the good news is,

You have all the time in the world.

What a gift.

*

Sat Nam

 

Spring Fever

 

Spring is giving me a fever

Telling me to wear red

Kick off my shoes

And dance around to the music of your flute

*

I’m leaving my chores undone

I’m following you outside

Letting the sunlight kiss my bare skin

and smiling because it stays light past seven

*

Tonight, I will gaze at the stars without freezing my ass off

*

Spring is chasing me down

The vernal faeries are tugging at my sleeves

and pulling my hair

They keep chanting like white noise:

“Create! 

Make Art! 

Make Love! 

Kiss someone!”

Their little voices are humming along

Buzzing sacrum to crown

up and down my spine

Laughing and frolicking

while casting spontaneous promptings

upon my verdant mind

*

Oh, the tide is returning!

Take your shoes off with me

Let’s run around like children

playing hide-and-seek for hours

until we find the right moment

to fold ourselves back into being

nothing

but a wave surrendering to

its own calling

*

*

Spring kisses upon you

Blessed be

*

 

 

 

Lilith (Shapeshifter)

 

“Before there was Eve, there was Lilith.

She rose out of the dust, the thought erupting in the mind of God. 

Form.  Gender.  Yin.

She rose next to Adam. 

Form.  Gender.  Yang.

The eternal fire was born.

But although Adam and Lilith channeled elemental love and desire, they also channeled the primal conflict of domination and submission.  Lilith refused to submit.  And Adam didn’t like that.  Or so it is recorded time and again.  Numerous records say this is all about her unwillingness to lie beneath him, in so many words.  The patriarchy tells a story in which a woman demanding equality (sexually, intellectually, in all forms of power) is unacceptable.  Adam’s love for Lilith became twisted and fear-based, and his passion turned into a need for control.  Maybe there is another expression of Adam that has not been told….I truly hope so.”

The old woman closed her eyes in a moment of silent prayer, then continued:

“Lilith inherently understood that nothing and no one can be owned, only perceived and experienced for the moments we are given.  But she was thousands of years ahead of her time.

Her only choice was escape.  Like the Phoenix, Lilith freed herself in remembrance and self-realization…returning to the eternal source.  One can liken this source to the void from which creation is spawned, the black hole at the center of every galaxy, the womb of the universe.

In her awakening, Lilith saw the grand design of existence that was yet to come.  She kept her identity, not as density in a body, but as spirit.  She became everything imaginable that a woman can be.

Yes, everything.

Some legends tell us that Lilith became Queen of the Underworld, birthing all the demon children to begin the realms of Hell.  She is the Succubus and the Siren, the Wanton Temptress, the Evil Witch.  She is ecstatic, she is crazy, she is fearless and relentless.  She is everything both desired and hated.

The message given is to fear her and despise her.  Blame her for all your bad luck.  Protect yourself from her knocking at the door of your knowing, the door of your senses.  Block out her voice whispering to you: “What do you really want?”

She is that which will never be kept, never be controlled.  She is wild and fierce and she is here to mess up your life and your head and wake you up to your own FREEDOM.  She exists in 4 places of the zodiac.  She rises like the Phoenix and she multiplies.

This is how more awakened women are born.”

The old woman took a pause, and calmly sipped her tea with her twinkling green eyes fixed on her beloved granddaughters.

Athena, the younger sister, was especially studious in the realms of astrology and mysticism.  Catching the pause, she quickly piped up: “We know Grandmother, she is Black Moon Lilith, Dark Moon Lilith, Asteroid Lilith and Oscillating Lilith.  She is the Dark Angel; she speaks to us of our desires and our power.”

“Yes dear, good memory.”  The old woman smiled and spoke in a low voice, “However, you can ‘know’all the facts about Lilith, but not know her.”  She spoke slowly, “Your time will come.  You are young and innocent and protected.  Just remember that the Dark Angel has teachings for you and she stands at the edge of your consciousness.  She is the place of letting go and surrender, as well as the place of facing fears and going to battle with your worst nightmares.”

Phoebe was slightly older and quieter, and she glowed with serenity.  From the age of 2, she had been gaining the reputation as natural medicine woman, effortlessly dialed in to the wisdom and magic of plants and animals.  The stories passed down from her grandmother gave structure and guidance to her sensitivities, cementing the value of feminine healing into the fabric of her life purpose.  She could feel the thirst of the entire planet, the basic thirst for love.

Phoebe stroked her grandmother’s hand and touched her forehead to the soft, aging skin in gratitude.  She smiled into the old woman’s face and the old woman smiled back.

*

PART 2: Eve and the Snake

 

“Will you tell us the story of Eve again, grandmother?” Phoebe implored.

The old woman closed her eyes.  Her chair was cozy, her granddaughters were sitting close and her body was not in too much pain.  Her heart was full and a smile played upon her mind.  Why not tell the story that they loved?

She sipped her tea and began:

“Yes, Eve.  Dawn of Creation.  Our Mother.  The One who gets blamed for all the faults in and of the world.  Eve was born of Adam’s body.  Since Lilith had vanished (or been banished), unable to stay in form, Adam lent the density of his own form to the female creation.  And as an extension of Adam’s own body, Eve was willing to let him set the terms for their relationship.  It worked for a time.”  The old woman chuckled to herself, and the sisters grinned at one another while each holding a hand of their wise and mysterious grandmother.

“Adam and Eve walked in the Garden.  The mind of God was awake, and consciousness had taken human form.  It was blissful.  It was peace.  Just existence, needing nothing.  All wonderful.

Man and Woman were experiencing the earthly delights, free of any concept of greed or shame.  They knew themselves as innocent because they knew their oneness with each other and with the Creator.  Nothing had interrupted that understanding.

Or had it?”

“And then who comes along?” both sisters chimed in lilting voices, as if on cue.

“That’s right my darlings, who does come along?  Yes, yes, forever misunderstood.  The Teacher, the Alchemist, the Shapeshifter.  The One who came before.

The Snake came along, sliding like poetry and serene with inner-knowing.  She was right there all along, but Eve’s consciousness found her.  Some would argue that Lilith returned to form as the Snake in order to share the understanding of Karma, Samsara and the cycle of life-death-rebirth.  Who can know?  Who can say?”

The grandmother gave her usual shrug and sideways smile, her voice sounding nonchalant.  She took another sip of tea.

“Lilith had been awakened.  She saw it all; she had surrendered to the endless possibilities of universal consciousness.  She took form as the Snake, and the divine feminine with the awakened mind encountered the divine feminine existing as bliss.

Who is hunting who?  The Snake or Eve?  Eve or the Snake?  The search for knowing was there before the beginning.  Before any form could be had.”

“It was like the Big Bang,” said Athena with her infectious smile.

“Correct,” the old woman replied, while admiring how well the girl was tracking.  “It had to happen.  It was consciousness awakening to itself.  Awakening within itself.  Snake rises like the kundalini, rising from the base of the spine and coiling her way upward, igniting every chakra.  Snake is awareness.  Which is why she guards the Tree of Life.”

“She is described as a thief!  A scoundrel.  A manipulator.” Phoebe’s bright face darkened as she pointed out the common fabrication of evil projected onto the Snake.

“Yes, yes.  So much fear.  The fear to see who we are.  To speak of our desires.  The fear of choosing to think for ourselves.  The fear of feeling anything and everything.

Can we compare this to the awakening of the Buddha?  Living in bliss, unaware of any pain.  Protected from the greater ‘reality’ at all cost.  But then something within pulls him to discover the life that exists outside of his palace walls, and he is forever changed.  He sees the vicious cycle of life and death.  He sees suffering and Samsara.  Only then can he awaken (much later after much spiritual practice!).

One perspective is that the Buddha found his way out of Samsara because Eve found her way in.  How can one return to an awareness of Being if one has never left that awareness?

Both Lilith and Eve are recorded as making inadmissible mistakes.  And this is where we see ignorance breeding fear and fear breeding hate.”

The young women closed their eyes and listened to their grandmother’s voice, sparkling like morning dew on the web of the story of life.  Giving homage to the mystery.

The old woman surrendered to the words:

“The fear of Wisdom

The fear of Knowing and Experiencing

Existence

Some kind of primordial misogyny, born out of this Age-Old tale

‘Stupid girl’ – referring to Eve

‘Evil’ – referring to the Snake

‘Innocent Adam,’ seduced into temptation by his own wife

‘Idiot Adam,’ never again should he let himself be played by a woman

Forever remember that Eve let herself become prey to manipulation and in turn became the manipulator

Strip her of her power as punishment

And God, what did ‘He’ do? 

He was angry!  He cast them out.

He was saddened and disappointed.  He felt betrayed. 

He called for Separation

What a human thing to do.”

 

The old woman’s gravelly voice rolled on:

“I see a different story

I am not alone

Who is to say, who is right and who is wrong?

The Tree of Life

Beating, Breathing, Knowing

The Snake of Wisdom

Mystery and the Unknown

The desire to Know and to Experience

The desire to feel

Out of the Dark

Came the Light

To cast a brightness on every nuance, every possibility

Every pain and every pleasure

Offering us complete freedom

The path we take to return home is as individual as the body carrying the mind that has chosen

THIS, dear ones!”

 

The old woman looked at her granddaughters, both sitting silently, eyes closed, their faces turned up toward her, their matriarch.  She was the woman they would forever thank for reminding them of the truth of their being.  For allowing them and encouraging them to show up fully as themselves, to experience as many colors of life as their desires would lead them to.  For softly showing them how to put aside all attachment to their identity in order to find an even deeper freedom, to reconnect to the shining emptiness of the Source from which we all originate and return to.  Nothing to fix.  Nothing to hide.  Nothing to prove.

Phoebe and Athena both opened their eyes slowly.  Their calm faces were radiant and full of life and love.

The old woman finished the story:

“You know the ending, my darlings, the one that is also the beginning.”

The sisters nodded.

THIS choice, to awaken in the mind of God.  To eat the fruit of Wisdom from the Tree of Life.  THIS is the kind of energy it takes to power the Big Bang and to set the Cosmos in motion for eternity as we know it.

The story is still beginning.

A change is coming and we can feel it.

This life is like a rope – and we are swinging between delusion and realization.  To attempt to cast anyone’s experience outside of the realm of your understanding and compassion is a grave mistake.

Eve has been the teenage boy who suffers low self-esteem and acts violently as a result.  Adam has been the woman begging for change, missing her teeth, skinny as a rail and making you want to look away.  Lilith has been every neglected child everywhere.  She exists in every girl, boy, woman and man who has had their sense of self stripped away and must fight to reclaim their dignity.

Lilith exists in the darkness as a source of strength for anyone who is experiencing or healing from abuse, in particular sexual and psychological abuse.  She will ride with you in the hell realms as you slay every imaginable demon blocking you from the brilliance of your own endless being.

The Tree of Life was meant to be eaten from.  And we are meant to live and live and live again, so that we may finally begin to recognize one another for who we really are.

The fruit is placed before us.

We are hungry for the truth it contains.

This moment is the opportunity to take it in.

If not now, then when?”

*

 

The Beheading

I don’t want the rose-colored glasses.

I want the gritty, changing landscape of your personality and face.

I want to touch your feral mind.

I don’t want the pretense of wrapping this up in a tidy package.

I don’t want shiny paper.

I don’t want the sophomoric ideals that get filed away so that it can all read like some manifesto of a life that was fantasized, but not lived.

*

I don’t want to try to make this look pretty.

*

I want my savage heart to be recognized by one who has found the end of himself, and stayed, made a home there.  One who needs nothing from me – or anyone – to know that he is ok.  One who loves himself enough to tell me – or anyone – that he needs a hug, or a friend.

I want to know someone who turns from the dazzling lights of outer “reality” to move ever-deeper through the darkest tunnels of the inner experience.

*

So please, look at me with the eyes of your knowing.

See that I am so very imperfect, in every possible way.

See that nothing can stop me from traveling in these tunnels, leaving behind the world of identity.  As unpopular as it may be, and even as the ground crumbles beneath my feet, all I can do is press on toward my own beheading.

*

We are searching because we know there is a light in these tunnels.  Even when we can’t see it, we can feel it.  Sometimes the light appears and it is so very small.  Like a tiny memory of something sweet, something that keeps you coming back for more.

Gradually, and randomly, the light becomes larger and brighter.  It fills up the entire cave of your being.  The light pours through you and out into the world, into the eyes of everyone you meet, filling your words and your deeds.  You are the light.

And as the light, you are moving and living and breathing in this body that feels so dense and so real.  You are filled with emotions governed by the body through the endocrine system.  You are full of thoughts, worries, beliefs, convictions.  Hopes, dreams, aspirations.

Something in you is telling you to continue walking.  Walk even further into the dark forest of your consciousness, into your own void of owning/controlling/knowing/being anything.

Walk.

*

My form is disintegrating as I walk.

Who is “I”?

My limbs fall off.

Who is “I”?

My head is cut off and rolling away from me.

Who is “I”?

The head tries to stay in control, staring at the scattered body parts that it once called its own.

Who is “I”?

A presence remains.  Unattached to the head, the trunk, the limbs.

It is now existing as raw energy.

It is living now as it has lived throughout the ages.

We don’t recognize it, lifetime after lifetime.

We forget:

we are it.

*

I don’t want the rose-colored glasses.

I want the beheading.

I want all-pervading consciousness to live in me, through me, as me.

Because any idea of “me” just doesn’t add up anymore.

*

 

 

 

Pisces New Moon and Solar Eclipse

The New Moon and total Solar eclipse that will occur tomorrow (3/8/16) has a major spotlight on Pisces.  Look at what house rules Pisces in your natal chart to see where this influence is happening most significantly for you personally.  Also, if your Sun/Moon/Rising sign is in Pisces, or if you have “a lot going on” with planets/asteroids/Lilith in the house ruled by Pisces in your natal chart, this upcoming Solar eclipse is likely to have an especially powerful effect on you.

Luna enters the waters of Pisces at 11:08am today (PST).  Pisces is traditionally ruled by Jupiter, which is probably why it has a reputation for being the sweetest, kindest and most altruistic of the three water signs.  Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, universally ruling the 12th house of karma, blind-spots, the subconscious and the soul.  The modern ruler of Pisces is Neptune, who is both the master of confusion and deception, as well as the magician of dreams, psychic-awareness and inspiration.  Neptune himself is riding through the waters of Pisces until 2025.  Neptune is strong here, holding court.  Right now the Sun, Mercury, Chiron and the South Node are all in Pisces together.  The Moon is about to join the bubble bath with them, and Venus will soon follow suit this coming Saturday.  It looks like the Piscean Sea is the place to be right now!

My natal Moon is in Pisces, who rules my 10th house of career and social status.  Natal Moon is all about inner-self, intimacy, soul and emotions.  Am I feeling these transits?  Why yes, I am.

When the Moon’s shadow covers the Earth on Tuesday, both Moon and Sun in Pisces will be directly opposite Jupiter in Virgo.  Oppositions represent challenges, but Jupiter is ceaselessly benevolent, even when he is in the sign of his detriment.  In Virgo, Jupiter expands issues of health, work and service.  In opposition to both Moon and Sun in Pisces, he has a sobering effect.  We are being asked to add practicality and sensible action to our dreams right now.  We are also being reminded to not skimp on self-care!

This year’s only total Solar eclipse will be visible from Indonesia and from the nearby Pacific Ocean.  It will be exact at 5:54pm PST on Tuesday.  You don’t have to see an eclipse in order to feel it and work with its energy.

New Moon rituals are always a beautiful thing, a time to go within, entering the void of your own being.  Ground your awareness in this dark space.  The Piscean Sea is being stirred by a powerful hand and a reckoning is occuring.  If you are in denial about anything, it will feel increasingly uncomfortable to let that denial run your life.  If illusion is blocking your clear vision or if you are suppressing emotions, the dam is primed to burst.  Creativity flows through you when you drop the façade, so whatever it is, drop it now.

All eclipses can act as doorways for change and transformation.  Enter this Solar eclipse portal and let the answers you seek rise from your subconscious, from your dreams, from your own psychic awareness.  Magick is happening all around us.  Big shifts are often necessary for our growth, and we can allow the metamorphic power of an eclipse the pull us through the change like riding a big wave.

Blessings upon your evolution.

 

***

If you are seeking an astrologer at this time, I can refer you to 2 amazing astrologers/intuitives in the Seattle area:

*Megan Skinner (www.meganskinner.com)

*Stephanie Gailing (www.planetaryapothecary.com)

Or online, I continue to learn so much from:

*Chani Nicholas (www.chaninicholas.com)

*Ainslie Faust (www.astroainslie.com)

***