I am chronically late. I was even born two weeks late. It is a flaw in my DNA, for sure. I’m not trying to be rude. I’m not trying to control other people by making them wait for me. I am being selfish with my time, and reluctant to enter the whirling speed of the world, yes – I admit to that. My speed is island-time, Solana time, roly-poly puppy time. Forgive me!
The younger son teases me and says I’m going to be late to my own funeral.
But I’m realizing, although I’m a peaceful woman, my pathetic time-management skills have something to do with my own version of stress addiction….
As humans, we seek stress. We crave the adrenaline, the cortisol, the inflammation response. We crave the irritation, the distraction, the “What the FUCK?!” feeling. Give it to me. I want it/need it/got to have it.
So many ways to fulfill our addiction to stress.
The things that gives us a rush….
Do we really want to give them up???
Somewhere inside of us (I’m not the only one), a little maniac is freaking out – screaming “Stop me!”
And once in a while, or as often as we like, we can breathe deeply into that tumultuous chaos, and we can give it the break it is begging for.
Stress wants more stress. It doesn’t want to die. But what it “needs” is a break. Longer and longer breaks, and someday maybe a permanent vacation.
Instead of banishing stress and punishing stress, we can reassure it that we are okay without it, and we can hand it that ticket to paradise. Be sure to wave goodbye with love, for if it senses you are missing its company, it will come running back to fill your false needs and set both your nervous and endocrine systems out of whack.
As in everything, as always, we remain at choice.
Like me, for example. I can stay set in my chronically-late ways as long as it takes. I can blunder about, fighting with Time and plying myself with guilt for my addiction to tardiness. But whenever I’m ready, I can allow Time to take my hand and teach me how to waltz. Giving myself space between obligations. Developing a willingness to be early. Drinking the moments in and finding the pause. Letting go of the need to rush.
Anything can happen….
Now excuse me, I need to hurry up to get to yoga class!