On Gurus


We can have gurus and we can have Gurus.  The Guru is here to take you all the way.

It does not promise to make your life easy.  To the contrary, the Guru will hand you exactly what it takes to unfold you.  And while you are making your calculations about how you’ve been done wrong and what isn’t fair about the world and your life specifically, the Guru is loving you perfectly and slowly stirring the pot that is your evolution.

My introduction to Gurus came at age 20, with some kind of surrender/something to Jesus.  My post-adolescent-existential-angst was eating me alive, and then I somehow allowed myself to experience the idea of this man who had existed to teach humanity that we are one with God.  My intellectual mind took a break.  Fact/Fiction didn’t matter anymore.

At age 21, while I was pregnant with my first son, I met my second Guru in the form of Sai Baba.  I never met him in person, but I met him through a photograph that my Italian friend gave me.  She was/is extremely beautiful and wise, and she had been a devotee of his since her teens.  She was so cool and gorgeous and serene, and she spoke with reverence about this Guru that she loved.  Within months of learning about him, he appeared to me in a very interesting dream in which I was given the answer: “God is not dead.”

At age 22, I met my Guru, Mata Amritanandamayi Devi.  She is Amma, the hugging saint.  I didn’t know she was my Guru when I met her, but my baby boy and I received Darshan from her and I felt like I had met God.  The first time I heard her voice, I was struck.  It was deep and gravelly, and coming from a place of such power that it didn’t seem real to me.  Hers is the kind of voice that gives you the feeling of IS-NESS that you have been craving.  Like dark, rich earth.  She sounds like the Source of all things.

I call my experience “a slow romance” with my Guru.  Somehow it took me 15 years to get to a place of complete surrender to her Love.  When I came undone I met the Love that responds with love to everything and everyone it meets.  That Love that gives a shit and will reach for you even when you feel like dying.  That Love that exists every step of your journey in forgetting and remembering your innocence.

And somehow, in surrendering to my Guru, I see the Guru all around me.  In my guru-teacher Gina Salá, who gently guides people to the light through sound-healing and through her presence, like a humble shepherd tending to all the wandering souls who come her way.

Through Neem Karoli Baba, Guru of Ram Das.  Seeing his form wrapped in a blanket is to know a certain eternal sweetness.  He reminds me of every poem by Hafiz, and looking at his image can simply bust my heart open.

Through Hanuman, the Monkey God, the one who will go to any length at all to salvage Love.  The one who opens his chest to reveal the bright light of Lord Rama residing within him.  Neem Karoli Baba would say “Hanuman is Jesus,” with tears rolling down his face, tears of grace and understanding.

{My thinking mind has mulled over that idea time and again, and it wasn’t until a couple months ago that I felt it like lightning “Hanuman is Jesus.”  Hanuman is everyman.  Hanuman is the monkey within our monkey minds that finds the entrance to God through his very heart.  Jesus is everyman.  His message has been corrupted time and again, just like he said it would be.  He is everyone’s brother, he is everyone’s Friend.  There is no ownership of your salvation.  Son of God.  Daughter of God.  That’s all we are.}

Ganesha, the Elephant God, also feels like Jesus to me, like the Friend.  He rides in slowly, steadily, with a grace that makes me weep, makes me laugh and makes me dance.  He is the drumbeat.  He is the pulse of Supreme Wisdom.  He is the Remover of Obstacles, even when he places obstacles before you.  He radiates Benign Reality.  He also “loves to party,” as Gina says in her Indian accent, with her Indian head wobble.  Beautiful Ganesha.

The Guru is here to take you all the way.  In Guru, there is no separation.  There is complete absolution of self.  There can be many Gurus and gurus.  You don’t have to choose.  Lovers, teachers, friends, children – all gurus.  Every family member you have, a guru.  Your dog, a guru.  See your Guru in everyone and everything.  Ah, the freedom of the heart!  For when you see your reflection in their brilliance, you are humbled beyond measure.

Too often, our heart and mind are disconnected.  The heart is trying to talk and the mind won’t listen.  It has been cut off from its source!  Go deeper.  Find the muladhara chakra at the base of the spine.  Go primal and go to your truth.  Find your innocence there.  This is the first chakra and it is guarded by Ganesha, who fosters self-respect.  From there work your way up.  Second chakra, just below the naval.  Third chakra, solar plexus.  When you reach the green forest of the 4th chakra at the heart, you feel an expansion, deep breath.

Keep going up.  Fifth chakra, at the throat.  Your vulnerability is here, and your voice.  It is bright blue and glowing with the electric energy of spirit.  Be heard.  6th chakra, third eye, your indigo imagination/intuition/intellect.  7th chakra, the diamond crown ~~ you are That ~~

These days I am reading about Sri Mata Ananandamayi Ma, the Bliss-Permeated Mother.  She dances on your heart and laughs into the depths of your being.  She eradicates your consciousness to merge with the is-ness of this moment in ecstasy.  She softens the core of your self-identification so you can again be liquefied like butter being prepared into ghee.

This is what I know about Gurus tonight.

Sat Nam.






2 thoughts on “On Gurus

  1. Wow. I need to frequently step away and just let all of these thoughts settle into me. Thank you for being so generous and sharing of yourself. I intend to read everything you’ve offered. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

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