Desire, the Crow and the Radiant One

Desire

is like ego

It wants more

It tricks us

many, many times

It says it only wants a little bit, a little bit more and it will be satisfied

It promises

But more makes it hungry

for more

a larger piece of the pie

a bigger plan

a more strident agenda

a better version of Now

*

Sometimes

it is just the innocent desire of wanting more time

to explore

the wonders of another human

with all of the senses

and physical energy

The sound of my breath in your ear

The taste of your mouth on mine

More time

is a craving that cannot be satiated

when one finds another so fascinating

This time does not exist

for our certain lives

Dear one,

what I would do

for more time with you

*

Open your eyes!

No, your other eyes

The shimmering reality

exists constantly

beyond the veil of your conscious mind

We experience it in glimpses

Laughter unfettered

deep and unabashed

A crescendo of physical pleasure

taking you to a place where you lose

control

Being struck by a beauty

that makes you forget yourself

The swelling sensation in your chest

when you realize that you are just like him or her

Earthlings,

we are simply life

and life is simply happening

We don’t have to die a physical death to experience a continual state of this bliss

Instead, we die to the self

bit by bit

And what a wonderful death that is

*

*

I take cues from crows

It’s a trick I learned

from a wise woman

She taught me their art

The way they hold up a mirror for these identities we claim

as we hustle and strive

caught up in our stories

They are watching over humanity

Quiet guardians

even as they eat roadkill

Sometimes they sit alone

their eyes fixed on something we cannot see

No one can guess

what has them so tuned in

Sometimes they consort like lovebirds

chasing each other in the circular, primal dance

or flying together

with the comfort of parallel motion

The togetherness we long for

flying in the sky

Sometimes many crows are mingling together

Flocking to perch on the bare branches of trees

Kickin it

alongside the freeway

Or languidly lined up accross a power line

the summer heat bringing stillness

Less movement is necessary

Often I see one atop a lamp post

grooming itself

Ah, self-care

Thank you for the reminder

*

Today I saw a crow enraptured by its shadow

walking along the cement wall outside of Safeway

watching itself

attracted to its own motion

It walked along the wall

the sun casting light around the bird’s reflected form

“Who are you?”

the crow was wondering to itself

It walked along and pecked at the ground

looking for food and appearing flustered by the shadow self

keeping it company

Oh, shadow side

Come in

Come in

You have so much to teach me

*

*

Desire is like addiction

Craving a food that will never satisfy

it only leaves us hungry for that which deepens our hunger

What then

is the alternative?

How can one find a way out of this wormhole?

*

Breathe

She says

Come sit with Me

and breathe

Let Me love you from every corner of the Universe

See Me in the whole sky

Hear My rumbling laughter

which contains all darkness and all light

shaking away the bindings upon your actual being

Find Me in every aspect of creation

When eyes meet your eyes

I am there

Don’t deny My existence

even in those you would call your enemies

Remember how I love you?

I love them this way, too

This love will never cease flowing through Me

The source is uncompromised

There is nothing you can do to block it

or stop it

You can try to hide

you can try to fall asleep again

But once you have tasted My nectar

you will never be the same

*

Years may pass

years of forgetting

years of trying to run from My constant acceptance

years of searching for another food to satisfy your hunger

another drink to quench your thirst

But I am patient, little one

I can wait many lifetimes for you

though My heart longs for you to return to this place

And when the time is right

you will dissolve into the bliss of empty self

You will laugh like I do someday

just wait

*

Your reflection is in everyone you meet

Yes, everyone

*

The feeling is like arriving at a well of cold, clean water

after living in thirst for so long

you were sure

you would die thirsty

You gave up on believing that water still existed

Lucky for you

there were teachers along the way

They shared their hydration from canteens

They showed you love

kindness

and forgiveness

when you thought everyone was against you

and out for themselves

They pointed along the path

and gave advice:

“This part is treacherous, but it is the only way”

“You are ready for this”

“See the unseen”

“Be broken….

for it is the cracks in the heart that let the light shine through”

*

Upon finding the well

you understand

it is the layers of this unconditional kindness

which have unraveled your concept of self

as seperate

as better or worse

bad or good

Your once crooked heart is no longer banging against the cage of the mind

All this time

your being has been held with such tenderness and care

like a precious jewel

in the hands of the One

who awakens your bliss

by loving you

*

Who is your reflection?

Who is in front of you!

 

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