And what if you hadn’t

Kept working

What if you had sat down, as a disciple yourself

way back then?

If no one served, do you think Yeshua would have said:

“Hey Marta, get back in the kitchen!”

Probably not

*

Can you imagine a different story….

Lessons that we as a collective are learning now….

Consider:

What if we women

are actually blocking the ability for our men to Rise Up

and be MEN

to powerfully lead and serve

in the unique and honorable ways that the Masculine can?

What if we women are blocking the channels for our men to support us in being the Bright and Fierce feminine leaders WE are?

By “doing it all ourselves”

and resenting not being validated

By acting small

and resenting others who don’t act small

By hiding our Light

and seething with envy when others Shine

By wearing the the sheep’s clothing that really doesn’t fit

has really never fit

the kind of animals we are

*

Now, let me ask you

Can you handle it?

Can you handle giving up the illusory control?

Can you handle not trying to make yourself look good

or gain approval

from anyone else?

Can you handle drinking from the Fountain of Life

and facing your Self?

Can you handle admitting

who you Really Are?

Can you handle

stopping

the charade

the facade

That you have anything better to do

than Be Here Now

That you are a victim

of ANY of your experiences

That you have to conform

to something outside yourself

That this life isn’t actually

FOR YOU

*

Beloved Marta,

when will you stop

depriving the Living Well

from your beautiful

hungry

mouth?

*

 

Beloved Marta

Your story is still unraveling

Your rapture came later

For at the time

You couldn’t stop working so hard

Bound by rules and regulations and what a woman SHOULD do

Trying to win at your own game

But you didn’t, did you?

*

We never win that way.

Ego never wins.

Trying to get it “right” never wins.

Conformity never wins.

Giving our power away never wins.

Postponing our joy never wins.

Contraction

judgment

resentment

and all that holier than thou

bullshit

can never taste the nectar

of Love’s Liberation

*

See, Marta, beloved of the Beloved

You tell an important story

~ one we are still telling ~

For by separating yourself from Love’s embrace

By diligently working to serve the men

Acting like a dutiful woman

Doing as you were conditioned to do

Instead of Drinking

from the Living Well for your soul

you martyred yourself

denied your very self

and the choice was completely

yours

*

Beloved Marta,

come out of hiding

with all of your Shadow

and all of your Light

Come howling

Come hungry

Come undone

The Living Water is running through your circuits

And the nectar drips like honey down your spine

Beloved Marta,

It is time to serve the One who lives inside

and let the nectar drip like honey down your spine

*

 

I’m cleaning up around here

Oh, it’s been a mess

I’ve had to throw a lot out

A LOT OUT

And rearrange things

So energy can flow,

So oxygen can touch those hard-fast places

Where I had tried to keep Love’s face away,

in my shame

in my idea of not deserving Love’s glance

in my own rejection of That which I crave the most

*

I have a Sacred Guest

Who is bound to arrive

The moment I open the door

I smell Her fragrance like the lilacs and the jasmine flowers of spring

She’s right outside

I see and feel Her brightness

Even from behind these walls,

where I stand sweeping, sweeping

*

Sometimes my sweeping is born of devotion

In itself, the chore becoming a dance of Union

But sometimes, I’m just keeping my Guest waiting

Sometimes even sweeping is a form of hiding

from my Maker

The One who governs my very breath

even as She stands on my doorstep

Ever patient

Ever awaiting the thrill of a soul who wants only this Homecoming

*

And then, what can I do?

But strip naked in all of it

All the mess

All the effort

All the wanting and striving and formulated plans

All the habitual patterns and pre-conceived ways of

doing things

Strip naked

and stand before the Sacred Guest

Strip naked

and allow Love to touch this body

and allow Love to fill this mind

*

I open the the door

creak

and let the Guest enter the cave of my heartspace

wombspace

sacred space

every space

My nakedness is my innocence

And I am seen

*

There is still so much brokenness

Everything unfinished

Splayed out

Threads reaching back lifetimes

The imprints from my ancestors

The passed-on pieces revealing themselves

And the fragmented pieces

finding their way back to me

through this newly opened door

*

The Guest is here

(already)

“Come on in, it’s a bit of a mess”

“Nothing I haven’t seen before”

I laugh

I am seen

And my nakedness is my innocence

*

 

 

The masochist is the sadist.

The martyr is the narcissist.

The persecutor is also persecuted.

The virgin and the whore.

The vile and the pure.

The beast.

The wicked one.

The saint.

The child.

It’s all in there,

in me and in you.

All in there, where there are no victims,

not anymore.

Not when everything is you.

Not when your cosmic nature is so blazingly obvious

that everyone, even your friend the cynic, has to admit:

You are wild and unstoppable.

*

But go ahead, delay your homecoming.

Sweep yourself up into tidy little piles of broken mess.

Tell yourself and the world that you’ve got a plan, a goal and a destination.

Endure.

And whatever you do, don’t exhale or breathe deeply,

no, not until you’ve attained something achieved something validated yourself

Chase the carrot of false security.

And while you’re at it,

humble yourself with false humility,

the kind that keeps your unworthiness in check.

The kind that keeps you hiding.

The kind that keeps you prideful and judgmental.

The kind that you will always cheat on

because you know you are more

than that.

*

Forget your tidy piles!

So you can be vast again.

Forget the simple conditions upon your life,

forget the timeline you have prescribed for yourself and others,

forget the rules of the game,

forget the lines drawn in the sand,

forget the numbers in your bank account,

forget the opinions of others,

forget your coping skills.

For once, will you own the one thing you have and leave the rest behind?

*

The limitless one walks upon the bridge leading to the gates of the fifth dimension.

At the gates, the eyes of the Sphinx are open.

The heart of Christ and the Magdalene, open.

The burning bush is within you and upon you – it IS you!

You feel the heat, hotter and hotter the closer you get.

The faint of heart will run back into the imaginary security of institutionalized living.

But not you,

oh deathless one.

You stand in the fire.

All that does not serve is being incinerated.

Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly

And your true primal and sacred self is being reborn.

Into black, space, nothingness

you are reborn.

Your flashlight and your compass are one and the same,

and now you know

what you’ve always known.

you are here

of sheer

desire.

 

 

 

 

Just stand naked inside yourself.

Tonight

and every time you greet the day.

Give yourself the simplicity

of being on this spaceship ride.

We’re all astronauts, you know.

This rock is flying through space.

*

You climbed aboard because your spirit was calling for more

in the world of contrast and duality.

More expressing!

More creating!

More growing!

More healing!

More understanding!

More loving!

More kissing!

More becoming!

More More More!

It is an abundant universe, my friends.

And it is expanding.

*

From your Star-state,

the place where you were before this place,

you knew everything

would be OK.

For you had been reminded of love,

believe me,

you had been reminded.

You arrived and were provided a sacred vehicle for your starlight residence on Earth.

Your one personal belonging.

Believe me when I tell you,

this is your astronaut suit.

*

Do you remember feeling the gravity pulling you in toward this jewel planet?

Do you remember your desire to take birth?

Your desire,

your magnetic and precious and holy desire,

has led you back to Gaia,

countless times by now.

*

Feel this:

your desire

and your will

lining up with the Great Unfolding.

Your heart is on fire and burning

burning

for more of it

more Truth

more Love

more Truth-Love.

And you feel the truth of all things cutting you down to size

into a thousand unrecognizable pieces

and smaller still

just to prepare you for your own undoing.

The truth of all things is compressing you into the diamond that you are.

This truth is fastening you to Love like nothing else can.

This truth is fastening you to Love like nothing else can.

 

 

There is a wave upon this planet, dear ones,

didn’t you know —

and the Lord of Love is teaching surf lessons for free.

*

Lessons begin promptly every morning

as soon as you arrive.

Make no mistake:

The Teacher has been waiting for you.

*

The time of your awakening to this new day

is always the perfect time,

your own perfect dawning —

and yet, the Lord of Love will sense your hesitancy

reluctancy

tendancy

to procrastinate

to avoid, distract and otherwise delay

your own very homecoming!

Coming home to the sacred soul who walks with you

lifetime after lifetime.

Coming home to the one who awaits its freedom

beneath every single facade

beneath every excuse

beneath every denial of your own superpowers.

The denial itself is a sham,

a boring and tired story about unworthiness,

and it is keeping you locked up inside

keeping you from taking that thrilling dive

into the Great Sea,

which could mean death,

certainly death of complacency,

and quite possibly the death of your entire prison structure.

*

So,

if you are at all like me,

and you stand shyly upon the shore sometimes,

not quite convinced that you are cut from the same cloth

as the souls who have already claimed their freedom,

well that’s when the Teacher might give you a literal shove, as He runs ahead of you into the waves.

You hear His booming command trailing behind His exquisite form:

“Pick up the damn board and jump in!”

 

Imagine that everything that has ever happened to you has been for your greater good.

Imagine.

Imagine the clearing of karma that has taken place, like a huge sweeping upon the soul inhabiting that body of yours.

Imagine the deepening of the lessons in this life like the beautiful canyons upon this beautiful, life-giving planet.

The deepening of the lessons like the lines upon the faces of the Ancient Ones, a deepening that forces you to bow from an unknown place, pressing your face and heart and whole body upon the ground.

Have you been humbled by now?

So many of us have been humbled by pain, but not by Love.

We cry out when we reach the end of ourselves, the limitations of ego, the desperate place of knowing there is something else, something better than this terrible experience – be it the dark corners of the mind or the drama of our inner-landscape being reflected in our 3D reality.

Gradually all pain and all drama begins stamping out any desire but the purity of our Oneness with the Divine.

And we might think we are only trying to escape the pain, find relief, but something much greater is at play.

We might think we are at the end, but we are actually waiting to be born.

And truly, in the bleakest and darkest moments, we may meet the brightest dawn.

So let us fall in love with the black night sky,

as we imagine this kind of Light….